About me

Certified Integrative Health Coach

As an only child to older parents, I have experience with being a caretaker to elderly parents (with a very toxic + strained relationship with my mom) during my busiest years, working a busy full-time managerial job, raising young kids, managing a marriage, household tasks, entering peri-menopause + ultimately buring out HARD. I've dealt with depression much of my life on and off, including post partum depression after the birth of my first child + struggled for many years in life sort of floundering around to find my purpose.  I've asked on many occasions, "Is this all there is? Wake, work, take care of everyone + everything, eat, sleep, wash rinse + repeat? I can't do it! I hate it!" I've treated my body poorly by eating poorly or not eating much at all, sometimes (my mom was a horrible eater) - I've never been a foodie and did not have very good examples growing up of what proper food choices looked like or what autonomy over oneself was.  I struggled with feeling not worth putting the effort into myself to feel good because I didn't believe I mattered.  Instead, I'd put the effort into everyone else + end up feeling used, abused, neglected + resentful.  This went on for years.  At 40, I took care of my elderly father to the end of his life, then my monther right at the same time as her mind failed her with dementia setting in, worked an extremely demanding job, had a pre-teen child who was struggling as well, a husband working out of state, an eventual move + dire need to move my mother closer so that I could be HER caretaker... I burned out + I burned out hard. I quit my job due to extreme overwhelm and crippling depression where I was really on the brink of ending it all.  I realized I never had one boundary in place in my life. I didn't even know how to HAVE boundaries or honor them if I did make some.  My most important goal at that moment became taking care of my kid + myself.  My body did not happily release all of the stored up high cortisol though - I felt physically like I'd been hit by a train even though I was doing less. I experienced full body joint pain nightly, had excruciating migraines like I've never experienced before, my blood pressure was high, hair was falling out, skin breaking out, sleep was history + I gained 30+ pounds seemingly overnight, I was exhausted.  I actually felt worse with LESS going on + it didn't make sense to me.  My doctor said, "You're too young for peri-menopause, you're only 45. You've been in survival mode for years + you're body is learning to let it go. But first, it's ugly." He wasn't wrong about it being ugly. But he also wasn't educated about peri-menopause. He did discover I had hypothyroid with hashimotos autoimmune disorder. Chucking meds at it was his solution.  I also had gut issues. And inflammation. I had never felt like such garbage in my entire life. 

 I realized from talking to my doctor that women's health and hormones are not well researched or understood. I find that absolutely ridiculous.  I thought, "There's got to be a way I can get better - not PERFECT - but better, without chucking 50 pills down my throat. If I NEED a medicine, fine, but maybe I can find a way to NOT need it or at least minimize it."  I was pretty desperate + determined I will NOT age like this and go into my later years feeling and looking like hell.  During research on hormone health, I happened across IIN - the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online. I always have been a woman's advocate.  We get shafted in so many ways, I wanted to find a way to be a support to my fellow ladies.  Beginning with my post partum depression, I'd wanted to help the next woman not go through that but wasn't sure how.  When I began my Health Coach journey with IIN, I was inspired in a myriad of ways - number one: to take care of MYSELF. I had to become my first client.  I learned how to look at my life through a different lens + realized - even though I sort of inherently KNEW what to do, I didn't KNOW... that my life was made up of many different aspects + facets that I needed to address. I didn't value myself enough to do the work, prior.  It was about what was beyond the obvious happening in the now - I needed to address some past issues related to familial trauma, personal issues surrounding my beliefs + mindset about myself, what I'd been taught + conditioned to believe...relationships, boundaries, what I allowed + didn't allow, how I managed stress + letting myself matter, finally.  This was eye opening, hard, challenging, inspiring + changed a multitude of aspects for me.  It helped me see the multi-faceted parts of me; the good and bad - the MANY areas I was reliving on an endless loop of negativity + staying in my own way; not living even remotely in alignment with anything that made me happy; harboring resentment, anger, fear, self-loathing + ultimately + perhaps most importantly...a total lack of sense of self.  I was forced to look into that mirror + start to really address these areas one by one. I'm not perfect - I still have areas I struggle with, no one is perfect. But I'm able to catch myself when I slip + help myself take steps to feel better and do better, rather than spiral.  I finally started believing that I mattered! I would like to help + show my lady friends that this is possible for you too. It takes work.  You're not being selfish to put yourself on the top of the list.  Fully caring for your mind, body + soul takes work. It takes an open mind. It takes intention and willingness to dig deep and sit with some feels. But little by little with someone supporting you, it is possible and FREEING.  You have permission to take care of yourself.